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The messages that followed were as suggestive as they were surreptitious: “So, just call me when you get this,” Lia messaged. “I won’t answer if I can’t talk. I’m taking the computer with me. BTW — my phone is pay as you go, so there won’t be a paper trail with my phone calls.”. But there was a trail, all right — a modern-day virtual trail — and it looked like Lia’s friend, Jenna Wright, had found it. Perhaps it was preprogrammed that the MacDonald marriage should come to this. In 1996, they were both in their early 30s when they turned to technology because the traditional way of meeting potential dates wasn’t working for either of them. She was a secretary at San Jose State’s anthropology department working on her teaching credential. He was a computer scientist working for a startup.
Neither liked the bar scene, Match.com, even in its infancy, seemed relatively efficient, Still, their virtual profiles left much to the imagination, When they met at a Chili’s, Will thought Lia was cuter than her picture, Lia liked Will’s Scottish accent, They made a perfect couple: mens ballroom dance shoes both smart, good-looking and fun-loving, In 1998, they married and started a family, In 2010, three years after moving to London and just months before Lia’s Facebook fling, life looked grand on Lia’s Facebook page, a perfect forum for Lia to keep in touch with friends and family back home, chronicle the growth of her young children and post pictures of their global adventures..
In January, there they were poolside in Barbados. In February, she posted a message that the family was heading off to St. Anton, Austria, for a winter ski break. “I want to be Lia for a day! Enjoy!!!” a friend commented. Lia responded in uppercase: “HAVE TO ADMIT, LIFE IS PRETTY DARN GOOD!”. Technology had made Will a millionaire many times over. After signing a noncompetition clause when he sold Codian and before he started another videoconferencing company, StarLeaf, he spent much of the year kite-surfing around the world. Lia stayed home with the kids while he posted pictures of his exploits from the Dominican Republic to Lanzarote in the Canary Islands.
“I felt like a single mom,” Lia said, The couple talked on the phone and through Skype, But, “we weren’t connecting, We weren’t a team, There was a big wall between us.”, She was down on herself and down on her relationship, But she wouldn’t mention that on Facebook, of course, “It’s like ‘positive-land.’ Everyone writes about the happy, happy, joy, joy that mens ballroom dance shoes they do,” Lia said, “Maybe if I said I wish my husband was around more often — I don’t know, nobody does that, Do they? They only write the happy stuff.”..
But Facebook also gave her a false sense of security, that she could indulge a fantasy with her old boyfriend without consequence. “I’m not sure if he was right next door I would have been as flirtatious,” Lia said. “It was easier having him be farther away.”. One of Lia’s best friends, Hellene Garcia, says that her husband’s extended family used to have reunions every year or two but stopped, because “everyone had joined Facebook” and was keeping up online.
Another friend put mens ballroom dance shoes her 14-year-old son’s iPhone on lockdown after she discovered he had texted a girl in school some 10,000 times in less than a month, As shocking as the “exceedingly inappropriate” messages were, she said, one of the girl’s replies in particular seemed even more disturbing: “why don’t you talk to me in the halls?”, That reluctance to interact in person — even when it seems so much is at stake — can have even bigger implications, as Will MacDonald found out..
If he had picked up the phone or Skyped Jenna Wright after he received her Facebook message, he would have quickly realized that the note about his wife’s virtual infidelity didn’t come from Jenna at all. It was from a digital impostor. In this age of hiding behind avatars and screen names and “catfishing” fake identities, the person who outed Lia for her online fling was a virtual mystery. Someone had stolen Jenna Wright’s Facebook profile picture and created a new Facebook page using her name, then sent Will the salacious news. The impostor was so convincing, Lia at first lashed out at Jenna, accusing her of betraying their friendship. It took days of cyber-sleuthing for Lia to confirm it was really someone else, most probably a friend from the scrapbooking weekend who must have seen Lia’s open Facebook page, cut and pasted its contents, then created a fake page to alert Will.
“The real me had no idea,” Jenna Wright said, “That whole thing was stupid, Whoever that person was, we can’t let that person win and destroy any real relationships.”, Lia apologized to Jenna for the accusation, but never confronted the woman she believes contacted Will, She figured the woman, a Facebook friend, was jealous of the life she posted, the “world” that Will had given her, But in the world of Facebook, Lia mens ballroom dance shoes gave the woman the virtual equivalent of a slap in the face: She unfriended her..